Um, sleep much?

Noah is now three weeks and three days old and I'm no longer feeling like a total rookie at this Mom business.  I've been babysitting since I was like, ten years old, I've been a professional nanny, but for some reason, the massive sleep deprivation has robbed me of all my knowledge, tricks and smarts when it comes to getting a baby to sleep somewhere other than on my body.  Or to sit in any of the baby holding receptacles really.

Noah sleeps with me. Every night. On my chest if we are in bed or in my arms if we are in the rocking chair.  And it is getting a little tiring.  When we first brought him home I shuddered at the thought of letting him out of my sight, let alone out of arms reach.  But I am very over that now.

At my second incision-check appointment my midwife told me to play music in Noah's room. Soft, piano-type music. Um, dur! But of course!  We now have play music in Noah's room and it does help him sleep a bit ... in my arms while breastfeeding.  And of course he won't take a pacifier from me behold, I have the real nipples, so Marc should be offering the pacifier.  Noah does take a pacifier. He has no interest.  Why should he?  Mine work so well.

Yesterday Noah fell asleep after nursing and I put him in his crib for a few minutes so I could put his clean clothes away and Marc came up behind me and dragged me out of the room because THE BABY IS SLEEPING IN THE CRIB.  And he did. For about an hour.  So success is attainable ... just fleetingly.
Marc sleeps in the guest room during the week leaving me upstairs alone with Noah.  I KNOW I need to nurse him in his room and put him the damn crib but it is just so much more peaceful to take him with me to bed and sleep on my back holding him.  The idea of getting even less sleep is so not appealing but I'm fearing how long this will go on.  I feel like its my fault because even in the hospital I didn't let him sleep in that plastic isolette thing, I kept him with me for ease of nursing and skin to skin bonding.   Three weeks is totally newborn but I know many newborns will sleep alone, so is this my fault?  Am I doomed to sleeping on my sore back for many months to come? 

I'm very desperate for any ideas on getting a baby to sleep in a crib alone.  I am okay with letting him cry himself to sleep but that's the thing, he doesn't ever fall asleep and I think he is a little young to be left to cry it out, maybe in a few more weeks?   I also have a co-sleeper next to my bed and he will not sleep there either.  The co-sleeper... it is the perfect option! Please tell Noah that. 

He doesn't much like to be put down. Ever.  This makes eating, peeing and simply blowing my nose a wee bit challenging.  He doesn't have gas or colic really, he just likes to be held. Constantly.  Is this normal for a three week old baby?  I mean I suspect it is totally normal but what can I do to get him to sit in his vibrating chair, with and without the vibration, the pack and play, the car seat ... anything dammit!

Aside from the sleep issues Noah is totally awesome.  He has the most amazing expressions and the softest skin and we love him more than life itself. 

I love him dearly, more than anything else in the world, but I also really would like to sleep on my side. And I don't know how to tell him that.

Comments

[melanie]

I don't think you are doing anything wrong - I think babies are programmed to want to sleep beside their mothers since that is how it was done for centuries. When my husband first mention co-sleeping I thought he was crazy until I read more about it and decided it kind of makes sense since the baby doesn't understand why you are leaving him alone. Of course, that doesn't help you at all but I just wanted you to know that it doesn't sound like you are doing anything wrong at all. Hopefully he will warm up to the idea of the co-sleeper soon and you can find a happy medium. :)

And those pictures are super cute!